Tuesday, August 08, 2006

I was just thinking....

(note: you may have to excuse me and my thoughts; i'm a little new at all of this,its been a while!)

It never ceases to amaze me how we figure that we have things figured out. I daydream every so often and think about how I wanted my life to be. I, the ambitious college student, bent on changing the world one day at a time, blah,blah, blah..... and now i realize that things aren't on a certain path, but closer to rhythm or beat.

As you wake and remove the sleep from your eyes, it starts simple...boom......pat...boom, pat... The realization that you may have certain functions to perform quickens this beat; boom,pat..boom,pat... just as you move toward the bathroom door, you strike your foot against the dresser..boom,pat, POW... you trip over the dog....CLang...

As a child, I was taught if you plan ahead it saves you more headache later on in life. This proabably applies to 1/4 of the things that we experience as people. We all must face this fact: LIFE IS UNSCRIPTED. Period. End of discussion. Sure the preparation of knowing what color the sky is or primary moral teachings, along with simple math and how to read are great things that are great to know. It wasn't until later that these things we challenged that it really started to shape the REAL "you". Maybe the sky isn't blue all the time....what the hell is algebra/algorithms (s4s*)/calculus and where else other than school will i use them?...And let's not get started on 'moral fiber' because things try our moral fabric almost every second of each day. Maybe i'll change the tag on this shirt to get it for less....The cashier gave me an extra ten dollars...I know I didn't study for the test, maybe i'll write a few answers down on my hand and...Is your loyalty to the company or to the customers that fund the company?...

As I was cleaning my wallet, i noticed my old Louisiana Purchase card used during THE hurricane (no need to use her name, she knows who she is...) and so many different memories came flooding back into my mind. Around this time last year so many things were different for me: geographic location, school, friends, relationship, etc. I worked ardurously to graduate a semester ahead of my classmates and to show the world I could finish something that I wanted to badly. Working a job that I loved with a supervisor as cool as they come and really gave a damn about the welfare of his employees. A working relationship that I could only describe as "slow progression" sliding down the slippery slope of oblivion and was unsure about somethings, but it was my mess at the end of the day and all was seemingly good.

Suddenly, everything was turned on its ear and the situation in its entirety really made me question the path I was traveling and where was i going in every faucet of my life. New college, new start-yes, with new problems as well.

Along the way, though, I realized that me trying to control every-little-thing in my life was useless. At the end of the day, you must be prepared for the eventuality that comes with life. Mentally- sharp, physically-well, i may need to work out a little, spiritually- elevating more and more each day...I'm wonderfully insane right now between work, a fantastic relationship, school and family, the difference is I accept that insanity with open arms and I face my challenges head on. And I say none of these things to mean, live life recklessly, but to say don't sweat the small stuff. Admittingly, there are times that I miss my old way of life, but the beat that my life is playing now is platinum and i'm learning everyday.

*s4s (those who don't know) sorry for spelling

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