Just something I decided to add..

My African American Culture class often has interesting information (i know, OF COURSE IT DOES!), but our current discussion topics in class have be really interesting. Things like Abolitionist papers and black revolutionaries are sort of inspirational, but I sometimes wonder how far from those times are we really...Well, the topic was (roughly) "If Nat Turner came to you about a slave rebellion, would you join?" This is what I wrote:

If Nat Turner came to me about the slave rebellion, he wouldn't have to ask me to join; I would be there asking others. People who start rebellions have a moment of clarity, I believe. Do i continue to suffer with no results or do I suffer to make change? It's not just a matter of numbers because it's going to start with or without a following. I would mobilize others in trying to join, but i understand everyone wouldn't move with the same sense of urgency. The thought of going along to get along makes my blood run fiercely through my veins and makes my steps steady as I run home to my family. If they don't understand my words, they will know with my actions. As i look in my wife's eyes, i would let her know that this battle isn't in vain, and whether I come back or not--I will be free.

hmmm...tsk,tsk,tsk....FUTURE OF FAMU??

With all of the things that you can associate with FAMU, my illustrious Alma mater, one thing is for sure--there is never a dull moment. I admit, it has been a while since I've let my mind dribble over these keys and leave a deposit here, but I currently find my self in some sort of...funk, you might say, over the life on the hill.

I, a newbie by most standards, haven't had the pleasure of building long-standing relationships with cohorts past and present within this University. Only being a few years old, I am an example of Darwinism--whether it be good or bad, that's to be determined. I tear myself from the loving teat of my sleep, engulfed by the warmth of these soothing sheets and sturdy vertical blinds keeping the day at bey; to climb the treacherous hill, filled with stray papers, deceitful teachers and the black hole grudgingly called student financial aid. It is very true that the quick in wit, socially astute, and mentally strong survive these pitfalls, but my heart does go out to those who fall by the way side...

You would be very wrong to believe that one could possibly venture throughout their collegiate career and not get sucked into some sort of extracurricular activity--S.G.A., P.A., P.R.S.S.A., A.K.A., A. Phi A., A.K. Psi., or any other organization with a nice acronym. Now don't get me wrong, these organizations teach one the tools they need to better in their society, workplace, and/or school (or at least they should be), I enjoy the talk of different organizations and what they contribute to my school.

It's the magnitude of talk and concern over the small stuff I can't understand.

Recently I had a chance to visit a blog hosted by my fellow peers and because of this I decided to check it out; I was really in for a surprise. In the beginning, my eyes were welcomed by vivid pictures of fellow Rattlers enjoying the many sports we have to offer as well as candid shots of our student athletes, from the MEAC champs to the disappointed stare of others leaving the battlegrounds. But this wasn't it. Seeing a thread of interest, I decided to click on the thread and there was nothing but line after line of gossip. Anything from disgruntled people interested in Greek Organizations and their allies to allegations of bad campaigning habits could be found here. The use of language was closer to a vulgar teenager--not a degree-seeking student.

I know, I know "You don't know these people/the circumstance/what had happened.." I wouldn't dare try to snatch the thunder of why you feel the way you do. I would be trying to take away the very thing that makes us unique, which are our passion for different things within our lives. My beef is with the lack of campus consciousness displayed by the lines of nothingness shown on the blogspot.

Now I'm not saying you should riot or turn 'Black Panther' overnight, but just realize there are larger things happening that could directly/indirectly affect you and the rest of your tenure here at FAMU. Excellent teachers who haven't gotten paid--that STILL TEACH (dedication), student workers, some that have showed up to the school with EVICTION NOTICES, pleading for some sort of help, and still work their various positions within the school, the steady decline of enrollment, FINANCIAL AID ('Nuff said)--these are causes of uproar and outrage because no one has any answers.

I enjoy the wildness and energy of each the Greek Letter Organizations. I've never seen so many people on fire (or so it seems) about changing their school for the better by being elected for one of the many student elected positions. The friends, the parties, the teachers, the relationships--all these things add spice to being a college student. But where will all these things take you if there is no college to go to? If all the esteemed colleges and schools lose their accreditation? If you have MAGNA CUM...whatever in Party-ology and Mix-ology, but no B.A. or B.S. degree?

I know this is going to fall on deaf ears--due to people slowly destroying themselves. I believe that I'm justified in my...funk...about my school because I don't want just anything handed to me. But, rather, make the school WORK FOR ME...Survival of the fittest doesn't not only means body, but mind and soul as well and to do this you must stay abreast of what is REALLY going on with your school...like Larry Fishburne said it's time to WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!





P.S. Go to this link===> http://famusetfriday.blogspot.com/ if you want to see what's on the minds of some Rattlers

The Novel...

(just a clip from a book I'm SLOWLY writing...Please give your constructive feedback...Thanks in advance...)

.....Do I wanna die--hell no, I'm too young, but Death has no respect for age. He's smooth as the air that moves across your face on the hottest day, but like the corner he's cold- bitter and unforgiving.
I guess me and Death got some things in common. Me? No, don't worry about me because I'm nothing more than a supplier. Too big to get pushed around and too small to have workers under me. My name doesn't matter, well, for now it doesn't, but you'll never forget my post-coming to a street corner near you.
My uncle and older cousins introduced me to the Streets and taught me to pimp her for everything she's got. She's the urban Wall street, so many crews offering goods to those who want in and sacks, caps, pounds, and bricks are sold like stocks and bonds- some for flat rates others to the highest bidder. If your product is just as attractive as the next man- diversify your bonds. Too many offering the same price for product for stock, owners may offer deals for consumers, lower prices- diversify. But there's so many stock owners with sales consultants , the streets are flooded. And you know what follows next, someone branches into someone else's market and the sales floor turns into a war.
I'm a top consultant. Fuck a briefcase, I hold product and heat. My corporate attire: hoodie, jeans and sneakers. The world is filled with movers and shakers, fish and sharks. The naive that go about accepting anything that the sharks leave them- these are the people I supply. Sharks have the world at their fingertips because they go and get what they want. They're ferocious and you can see their strength in their eyes. The lack of rest writes a red story from each retina, but there's an odd calm in their faces- it's them poised for attack. These people attack dreams relentlessly and do whatever it takes to get there.....

...Society has labeled my kind as the dangerous killers, but everyone is dangerous. Whether we admit it or not we all are interconnected. Although my kind has chosen to hold the pistol, how is everyone else killing you? Is it in word or deed? Who is smiling in your face and ready to plunge the dagger in your back? Who has murdered your soul today? I'm more honest because I don't try to be something I'm not. I have a purpose, although unsure at times, but to the world on the outside looking in, I don't have an identity. My face; you would love to see my face to associate something or someone with the change that you feel searing through your body. Who would've thought that peoples dreams and aspirations, the things that you bleed, sweat and shed tears for, can come in a capsule or baggie. I am the sandman and you can pick your pain, I mean, pleasure.
Like you I, too, have a dream. Clean streets, a better home. Clothes that are nice and sneakers that fit me- not the two people that wore them before me. I dream in color, but my dreams are as simple as being in black and white. I dream larger than life because I control my outcome and with the Creator's help I am man made invincible.
But I realize that nevertheless I am man-made in the Creator's image, nothing but a copy. No shine and no glitter. To most my face is only a memory, a black face not separate, nor unique in the sea of other black, brown, etc. faces in the Streets, affectionately known as the ghetto....

Trippin' and Clickin'

Never have I been more grateful for the small things in my life. At times I think of how much I miss my immediate family...How we laugh until we cry or how we cry and learn later to laugh...And as I was sitting in front of this screen it dawned on me how fragile time really is.
Sending emails...ordering things online...FACEBOOK (the newest digital addiction and yes, I'm a junkie as well, LOL!) creating, revising, fixing and re-revising....all of it is enough to make oneself SICK!...and heaven forbid we can't have this luxury at our disposal at all times, the world would cease to exist, right??
A few days ago for the first time in a while, I didn't have to be somewhere... I had the priviledge of being invited to a wedding in my girlfriend's family and be AWAY from work! The allure of the open road with two beautiful women (My Queen and her Mom, respectfully) seemed all too good to be true, that is until we were driving the interstate.

We arrived in the strangeland, I, unfamiliar with my surroundings and really not knowing what to expect, and what was in store was more than I could've ever thought. People have anxiety about meeting new people all the time and I, admittingly, was a little nervous, lord knows I don't need another Truck incident (*or should I say accident, LOL!), but I love watching the interaction between people and the comfort you can feel from being around people that truly enjoy each other's company.

This was apparent the entire time.

For the few days I was allotted their presence, words, jokes and stories, I felt so included. To see their jovial reactions to one another was precious and priceless. The oohs and aahs from people impeccably dressed for the wedding (and I must say, I was oh so clean..Sigh) to the warm embrace that you feel when you haven't seen a loved one in such a long time. Yes, I was invited into this world and the mental pictures of children running, grand/parents' tears of joy, the admirous looks, the thousands of pictures (thank you papparazzi, smiles), etc., could never have justice with the few letters I could strike to form the little words I know in either languages I know..But its summed up into one word: Orgullo or pride.

Being around them showed me so many different things I had to be thankful for and areas I need to work with personally with my own family. The birthdays that pass....the holidays spent over the phone...the times of frustration knowing you want to see their smiles, feel their breath, smell granny/mama/sista/cousin's food. We get so involved in our work that the things that mean the most, we miss them. 401k will only last for so long. A paycheck can only pay/provide so much. Sure, the day we leave this earth, their may be people that you worked with or worked for at the wedding, but they won't console my family with words of encouragement, they won't remember the holidays, the different "firsts", the weddings, the births...they might, and that's a very STRONG might, bring you flowers. We can't get that time back. A rapper once said, "They bring you flowers when you're dead, but never soup when you're sick..." and that really stuck with me.

At one time, I poked fun at my girlfriend about how many pictures they take and the movies, but I was wrong....How foolish of me not to see the importance of those bags of jewels called pictures you possess?? I apologize baby and to you and the family, KEEP CLICKIN'!

As we drove back it seemed like it took forever, but it was because we were coming off of a natural high, back to our noses being back to the stone--BACK TO WORK. I must say, though, it was the nicest breath of fresh air I've had in a while.

Words can't express all the thoughts and emotions I feel, but all I can say is thank you to the family....

Moral: Take back what's yours...your right to your own wonderful life..Cuidate pena (watch over your work, rough translation), it doesn't matter how you say it, just do it

*Inside joke

Just a moment...

Dreams trickle down the slippery slope....
streams turn to rivers as they leave my face...
drowned in the happiness of others to help cope...
life can choke the strong with reality as the rope...

i'm optimistic...
i hope you didn't miss it...
my mind rewinds back to the simple times..
before writing on lines or coloring inside the lines...
imaginary...
visionary...

the scattered steps of missionary...
kicked off the path to redemption...
very scary the mares of the mind..
trapped in the snares between dreams and reality....
peel away the innocence...
the same sun that nourishes some, burns to the core of others...

I emerge unscathed, though..

....The ranting of a mad man...

Damn, another day is sucked away to that, well, wherever the days go. I read the paper and fish through the pages for things of substance (putting tons of emphasis on FISH due to news being suspect nowadays), and I feel like I'm reading the same thing I read last week. "Fighting in the middle east...", "N. Korea launches test missiles to...", "Peace talk with..." blah, Blah,BLah,BLAh, BLAH....

Although reading monotonously, sifting through the what is and what isn't, a thought raced through my mind... Here I am thinking "glad I'm not over there" when I think who is watching over here? Thousands of troops, weapons and other defenses have been deployed and being deployed daily. All the man power that this country can muster is constantly being sent away to foreign land. Meanwhile, politicians tend to the wreckage that has been laid at their feet by the commander and chief and work on different ways to seem the lesser of two evils.

There have been some that have thought about our own country's men and women and see the need to worry about ourselves, but it doesn't seem enough. What seemed so simple then has turned into a monster, showing its ugly head to all- affecting different prices, households, etc- and leaving people with an eclectic mix of feelings. Some feel that the country they are so patriotic for doesn't represent them.

Open your eyes my people...

Our own countries problems-- welfare, healthcare, poverty, social security, etc.- have been moved to rear to give way to international causes, warfare, bloodshed, and imposing democracy on every country we take over...Oops, I mean, "help rescue". This is a beautiful country, responsible for making dreams come true not only for its inhabitants, but to those who seek freedom and are willing to work and sacrifice for that dream.

But is it just that, a mere dream?? Lulled to sleep by the gimmicks and promises, and rudely awakened by the harsh realities of the classist society in which we ALL participate?

We are all guilty to some degree, and I wouldn't dare cast the first stone upon those who wear their blood, sweat and tear soaked clothing everyday to receive what they deserve.

It's the selfishness by those who have so damn much I just don't understand...

I was just thinking....

(note: you may have to excuse me and my thoughts; i'm a little new at all of this,its been a while!)

It never ceases to amaze me how we figure that we have things figured out. I daydream every so often and think about how I wanted my life to be. I, the ambitious college student, bent on changing the world one day at a time, blah,blah, blah..... and now i realize that things aren't on a certain path, but closer to rhythm or beat.

As you wake and remove the sleep from your eyes, it starts simple...boom......pat...boom, pat... The realization that you may have certain functions to perform quickens this beat; boom,pat..boom,pat... just as you move toward the bathroom door, you strike your foot against the dresser..boom,pat, POW... you trip over the dog....CLang...

As a child, I was taught if you plan ahead it saves you more headache later on in life. This proabably applies to 1/4 of the things that we experience as people. We all must face this fact: LIFE IS UNSCRIPTED. Period. End of discussion. Sure the preparation of knowing what color the sky is or primary moral teachings, along with simple math and how to read are great things that are great to know. It wasn't until later that these things we challenged that it really started to shape the REAL "you". Maybe the sky isn't blue all the time....what the hell is algebra/algorithms (s4s*)/calculus and where else other than school will i use them?...And let's not get started on 'moral fiber' because things try our moral fabric almost every second of each day. Maybe i'll change the tag on this shirt to get it for less....The cashier gave me an extra ten dollars...I know I didn't study for the test, maybe i'll write a few answers down on my hand and...Is your loyalty to the company or to the customers that fund the company?...

As I was cleaning my wallet, i noticed my old Louisiana Purchase card used during THE hurricane (no need to use her name, she knows who she is...) and so many different memories came flooding back into my mind. Around this time last year so many things were different for me: geographic location, school, friends, relationship, etc. I worked ardurously to graduate a semester ahead of my classmates and to show the world I could finish something that I wanted to badly. Working a job that I loved with a supervisor as cool as they come and really gave a damn about the welfare of his employees. A working relationship that I could only describe as "slow progression" sliding down the slippery slope of oblivion and was unsure about somethings, but it was my mess at the end of the day and all was seemingly good.

Suddenly, everything was turned on its ear and the situation in its entirety really made me question the path I was traveling and where was i going in every faucet of my life. New college, new start-yes, with new problems as well.

Along the way, though, I realized that me trying to control every-little-thing in my life was useless. At the end of the day, you must be prepared for the eventuality that comes with life. Mentally- sharp, physically-well, i may need to work out a little, spiritually- elevating more and more each day...I'm wonderfully insane right now between work, a fantastic relationship, school and family, the difference is I accept that insanity with open arms and I face my challenges head on. And I say none of these things to mean, live life recklessly, but to say don't sweat the small stuff. Admittingly, there are times that I miss my old way of life, but the beat that my life is playing now is platinum and i'm learning everyday.

*s4s (those who don't know) sorry for spelling